 |
You know you're albanian when...
You are 24 and your mother still calls your cell phone.
You can name all your grandfathers in order dating back to the 15th
century
You have an Albanian eagle tattoo on your arm with your last name written in old English.
There is either a black Mercedes or BMW on your driveway.
Your parents tell you stories about how they had to walk 8
miles in 5 feet of snow barefoot up hills and mountains just to go to
school.
Raki is like holy water in your house you use it to
Cure all illnesses.
You wear an Armani shirt when you work out or go to the gym.
You end up in jail on your brothers wedding day for
shooting your 9 mm in the middle of the street during the wedding
gathering.
You claim every famous white rapper is part Albanian.
There has been a time when you were in Albanian Chat
for 5 straight hours.
You open up a million dollar business and if it
doesn't work out you burn it down and collect insurance
You have at least one cousin who's in jail
An Albanian guy's name, who you don't know, is Shqipe
All of your co-workers know the history of
Albania and Albanians.
If you grew up in America, you didn't pass kindergarten because your parents
never taught you how to speak English
You smoked at the age of 13
You own a leather jacket
Either you or one of your relatives own a restaurant, pizzeria,
building, hotel, or construction company
All the hot Albanian guys/girls are somehow related
to you
You go to Albanian parties and functions just to show off
Your mother calls all cereal "cerjoza"
Your favorite baseball player is Tie Xon Domi just because
he sounds Albanian
You can be heard 3 blocks away blasting Sinan Hoxha
and Bujar Qamili greatest hits
You have more alcohol in your house then the local
bar
Your mom yells at you in Albanian in front of your
American girlfriends
You invite 1,000 people to your wedding and you only
know 300 of them
No matter how you are , you are very gorgeous
Your family dog understands Albanian.
Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and
extended family.
You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.
You ate byrek for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday.
You grew up thinking nothing had a fixed price and that the price of everything was
negotiable through haggling.
You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
You were hit at least once with a wooden spoon.
You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.
Your neighbors can understand Albanian but they can't speak it.
You have relatives you don't speak to.
You drank raki before you were a teenager.
You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a
flower or a vegetable growing out of it.
Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic.
If you were fat, people called you healthy
You thought that talking loud was normal.
You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and had money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
Boys didn't do house work because it was women's work.
|
